Hello friends!
I know it has been a while since I've been consistently updating, and once again, I sincerely apologize!
As you know, I have been on the mainland in Belize for the last week with very limited internet. (Only when I went into town, and begged to use the wireless in a restaurant!)
I've been trying to make some decisions regarding what to do and where to go next. Considering my 6 month lease is up mid-month, this month, I have been weighing my options. I can't
BELIZE I've been here already for 6 months! Where has the time gone?
I was commenting to a friend the other day about how quickly things change here. One minute, you can plan on doing something, then 10 minutes later, something COMPLETELY unexpected happens. And this is a normality!
My problem lies in two things:
1) The inability to make plans that come to fruition
2) The inability to adapt and remain patient and/or calm
I like to make plans. I like to be spontaneous. These two statements seem paradoxical, however, make sense in my head. I like the feeling of trust, reliability, and stability that comes out of making and following through with plans. However- I also like to make spontaneous choices within certain boundaries, within certain options, within a given time.
Like I've said, I'm trying to figure out what I am going to do for the upcoming months. Do I move home? Do I stay here? Do I stay here, but move to a different property? Do I move somewhere new entirely? These are all questions that have been on my mind. There are a few "hurdles" in my way. My financial aid was messed up, since the month I've been in Belize. It's hard to make plans that are based on other factors, which also change quite frequently. In other words, whether or not I stay, depends upon whether or not I can make the money last until my next disbursement. This might seem like a "normal" problem to most people, but the reasons why the disbursement was messed up in the first place, as well as the conditions thereafter have been changing the entire time.
Another recent example was the hurricane on my birthday. I decided 2 hours before hopping on a flight to the mainland, that the best thing to do was to try and take myself and my cat to a "safer place." The hurricane was projected to go north, towards San Pedro, and by flying out to the south part of Belize, I would potentially avoid danger. This changed dramatically within a day, as the hurricane suddenly changed direction towards us. Another factor in my "planning" was the information I was told when I talked to the friends I traveled with. The estimation was, I would probably be home around Tuesday. Tuesday turned into Friday, which turned into Saturday morning, which resulted in being home Saturday evening. Once again, proving:
It is [almost] impossible to try to plan anything in such a rapid-changing environment.
This leads me to, HOW I adapt to the change in plans. With the consistent uncertainty as to what is going to happen next, I have a very difficult time adapting to each change. It seems that I don't have enough time to "make peace with" or adapt to each thing that comes along, until the next issue arises.
This is probably the most difficult for me! My problem lies in my ability to adapt to those changes. Technically, I cannot do anything about the change itself- but WHAT I DO AFTER the change happens.
Once again,
I'm focusing too much on what I cannot change, and not paying enough attention to what I can change.
How do I adapt to change better?
There are 5 skills that the article "
Adapting to Change: 5 Essential Life Skills" presents:
1) Stop and think to avoid misinterpretations
Give yourself time to analyze situations thoroughly. View actions and circumstances from different angles and perspectives to gain an accurate understanding of what has happened. If people are involved, communicate your concerns and ask questions to get information that might not be apparent. This will allow you to make informed choices.
2) Think long-term
Ask yourself "What if?" questions. Think about the consequences of dealing with a situation in various ways. Ask, "What will I lose?" and "What will I gain?" "How could this choice affect my family, friends, self, and future well being?"
3) Prepare for change with continuous learning
Change is a constant in everyone's life. The skills needed to meet various needs will change throughout all stages of life. We will continue to need updated knowledge in such areas as self-care, relationships, parenting, and financial.
4) Look beneath the surface
Welcome challenges. Every challenging situation brings the chance to grow wiser and more skillful. Somewhere, someone has successfully dealt with the same situation. Even circumstances that seem most devastating carry within them the seed of a new blessing. Those who search for these blessings will eventually find them.
5) Become clear on your values: the principles that guide your actions
Then look at your needs: those things that must be met in ways that remain true to your values. Ask yourself this question: "Is my reaction an attempt to meet a personal need in a healthy manner, or is it a creative solution to some other problem?" Then ask, "Is my choice of action in keeping with my core values?"
These solutions sound doable, but if you're at like me when I'm in the moment, or as my best friend always says "when the rubber meets the road", all logic goes out of the window. I have 5 practical, logical applications to adaptive challenges, but I know myself well enough not to use any of them. So now what?
Realistically, the only thing I can think of is to
stay calm and
positive. In all of my past experiences, an immediate reaction from me is not only irrational, but negative- yielding less-than-ideal consequences. This impulsive reaction has also caused more work that I'd need to do afterward; "damage control" for what I did/said in response to the change.
Also- One of the best things I can do in a situation that makes me uncomfortable, anxious, or unsure of the future (that I've learned thus far) is to
DO NOTHING. This might sound weird to most people, but because my initial response is to make an impulsive decision or reaction, if I "do nothing" it allows me to calm down until I can decide on a better solution to the newest problem.
Different methods work for different people. The key is making the best decision on the course of action after the change happens.
Anastasia
Always remember: "The only thing that will not change, is change"
