5 October 2010 -- Grieving, loss of pet

This adorable kitten, was my mom's.

Unfortunately, he died today due to complications in surgery, while getting "fixed".  

Both my mom and dad are devastated over the loss of another pet.

Asking Anastasia:      How do we move on from the loss of a cherished pet?

 First and foremost, it is perfectly normal to feel sad over the loss of a loved pet.  No matter the time spent with the animal, you've had time to bond, to nurture, and to love the animal.   It was a source of comfort and companionship, of unconditional love and acceptance, of fun and joy. So don't be surprised if you feel devastated by the loss of such a relationship.   It is okay to feel grief.

Kubler-Ross defines the 5 stages associated with the grieving process:

Denial- 

Numbness, withdrawl, distraction- "What happened didn't really happen"

Anger-

Blaming, shouting, screaming, anxieties, fear- all is pain projecting outward onto others

Bargaining-

Pleading to higher power, praying, begging for pain to stop, or need to be met 

Depression-

Acceptance of situation begins, however feeling of hopelessness is overwhelming

Acceptance-

Coming to terms with the loss and realizing that "things will be okay"

Another site dedicated to understanding grief.

What can I do about my feelings?

Be honest with how you are feeling.  Acknowledge, then express how you feel.  Talk to someone that cares for you about your feelings (spouse, sibling, parent, friend, clergy), journal, write a poem, reflect over good times shared with your lost one, have a remembrance ceremony for your pet, make a collage of pictures, donate or volunteer at a humane society.

Should I immediately get another pet?

Essentially, you need to give yourself enough time to accept the loss of the last animal.   A new pet should be acquired because you are ready to move forward and build a new relationship-rather than looking backward and mourning your loss.   If possible, give yourself a certain amount of days as a measurement, something you feel is suitable to cope over the loss of a pet.  (For example: one week, one month, three months, etc).  This is not to diminish the animal's worth to you, but to help you move on with your own life.  If after those days you still feel the same, and not slightly better, try to evaluate the reasons why this pet was so important to you, and why you cannot move forward. 

When you are ready, select an animal with whom you can build another long, loving relationship. 

More tips on coping with pet loss

Emotions associated with loss are perfectly natural and normal.  Be honest with the feelings you are experiencing so you will begin to recover.

Anastasia

Always remember:  "Your grief will lessen with time, but your love never will"