6 October 2010 -- MY LIFE SUCKS

Hey friends,

I thought I'd mention to you something very real, very present in my life, that I struggle with on a daily basis.

I was diagnosed a few years ago with clinical depression.  Don't believe it either?  It took me three therapists, and three psychiatrists' separate diagnoses to believe it myself.  In reality, this has been something I have been dealing with for over 10 years now.

Asking Anastasia:     What is Clinical Depression?

According to University of California, Berkeley's website, Clinical depression is:

• A serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. 
• Individuals with clinical depression are unable to function as they used to, may lose interest in activities that were once enjoyable to them, and feel sad and hopeless for extended periods of time. 
• Not the same as feeling sad or depressed for a few days and then feeling better. 
• Can affect your body, mood, thoughts, behavior, eating habits, how you feel and think, your ability to work and study, and how you interact with people. 
• Not a sign of personal weakness, or a condition that can be willed away, and people cannot "pull themselves together" and get better. 
• Often interferes with a person's ability or wish to get help. 
• A serious illness that lasts for weeks, months and sometimes years, and may influence someone to contemplate or attempt suicide. 
• Results from a of a combination of factors: genetic, psychological and environmental. 

How clinical depression affects me:

The best word to describe what clinical depression does to me is, APATHY.  I become apathetic regarding every aspect in my life, and especially those that bring me happiness and joy.  Getting out of bed is too much of a hassle in the late afternoon.  Taking a shower today seems too cumbersome, and "I'm not going to leave the house, so it can wait until tomorrow."  There's really no point in doing anything, and even talking about the way i feel with someone else is too much of a hassle, and "I wouldn't want to bother them with this ridiculousness."  I'll just wait it out and see if it gets any better.

Essentially, I feel that   MY LIFE SUCKS

How do you treat/cure clinical depression? 

Depending on the different factors that influence or bring about the depression, there are different methods as well.

Self Help-

Eat healthier, get exercise, get sunlight, pay attention to your feelings/emotions, develop a support group, develop stress management techniques like meditation or journaling

Outside/Professional Help-

Consult a physician, therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, talk to a school counselor or teacher.  Tell someone you trust, that can guide you in the right direction.  (For example, Although not professionally trained, telling a teacher about your feelings, they can give you suggestions and guidance)

Pharmeceutical Help-

Prescribed by your physician or psychiatrist, there are many medications available.  Each one is a little different than the next, and those who take medication should be under the close supervision of their doctor, as a lot of these can have adverse effects.

With a combination of all the above things, I have been able to keep my depression down.  Sometimes I still feel like my life sucks.  Like I said, I have been through 3 therapists and 3 psychiatrists, I had to find the ones that were right for me- the ones I felt understood me the best.  I have been on and off different medications over the years, as well as an active member in a support group.   I have trusted in my family and friends to help me when I need it, but I also have to be honest with myself, recognize what I am feeling, and make an attempt to reach out and ask for help.  

In reality, my life DOESN'T suck today.   

I try to go through my day looking for the things that make me happy; things I can be grateful for. I try to find at least ONE thing I am grateful for every day. You are not alone if you feel this way.  I strongly encourage you to seek guidance from someone, whether a friend, family member, professional, or other.  (You can always talk to me)   If you start to acknowledge the way you are feeling, then express that to others, you are taking one step closer to relieving your depression.

Hang in there....

Anastasia

Always remember:    "Never apologize for how you feel"

Emergency suicide hotline numbers   USA