Second posting for today! I know you love reading my thoughts! :) haha
Asking Anastasia: "Do you lie?"
Yes. I am a liar.
Proof that I am a liar:
- I've lied in the past.
- My first natural response is to lie in a lot of situations.
- I even catch myself today, saying something that is a lie, then correcting my statement by saying, "Wow, I'm sorry, that's not even true... I don't know why I even said that."
Now, before you call the press, the police, or my parents, I have done an extreme amount of work in order to be honest today. It would be a lie, if I said i didn't lie! :)
Asking Anastasia: Why do we lie?
- To create best possible version of ourselves
- To avoid consequences that telling the truth might bring
- Lying works
- Lying has benefits
Lying is motivated by self-esteem and self-preservation. All lies can be traced back to these two reasons. One could argue: "I only lie not to hurt his/her feelings." This "little white lie" still falls into these two categories: Self-esteem & Self-preservation. You don't want to hurt their feelings, because that would reflect back poorly upon you. YOU are not a nice person. YOU are mean. YOU hurt their feelings. YOU might lose them as a friend/spouse/etc. YOU would create drama.
So you tell a little lie.
YOU are preserving your self esteem. YOU are trying to save-face.
From the Journal of Basic and Applied Psychology, researchers found that 60 percent of the subjects lied at least once during a videotaped 10-minute conversation (howstuffworks.com). Researchers reported that all the subjects believed they'd been completely truthful during the conversation. What is even more surprising, when they watched the playback of the tape, they were amazed to find they'd said deceptive things. Humans have the capacity to lie without even knowing they are lying!
Asking Anastasia: How do we stop lying, especially if we don't think we're lying?
- Realize that you have the capacity to lie! Acknowledge that you might have a problem telling the truth.
- React to your own lies! If you catch yourself in a lie, try and immediately confess and apologize to the lie. This is the most difficult to do, and from experience, takes practice. Once you realize that you might "bend the truth" and admit to yourself that you have the tendency to do so, the little lies become more apparent. The sooner you confess and apologize, the better! (wikihow.com)
So I challenge you, can you tell the truth?
Anastasia
Always remember: "You can love me, you can hate me, but at least you know I won't lie to you"
You would have enjoyed the coast show I listened to this weekend.... Body language expert Greg Hartley discussed the art of interrogation and gave tips on how to spot a liar. A former interrogator in the Middle East, he shared a number of clues which indicate how truthful a person is. One such insight was that when a suspect recognizes someone, their eyebrows quickly flash upwards for a brief moment. Similarly, raising one's eyebrows up while talking and ending a statement with a lilting voice is what Hartley called a "request for approval." In such an instance, if approval is given, the subject's eyebrows will immediately lower. Hartley also noted that he becomes "extremely suspicious" when talking to a suspect and they have a deep stare. He called these individuals "glossies," as a reference to their vacant eyes.
ReplyDeleteDetailing the interrogation process, Hartley noted that a tremendous amount of insight is gleaned prior to event speaking with the subject. Such information gathering includes in-depth analysis of their intake paperwork, tacit observation of the suspect to see how they interact with other inmates, and then speaking with the guards, who see them on a frequent basis. From there, Hartley said, the interrogation begins with a benign "control question," answered truthfully, which allows the questioner to have a "base line" to compare future responses against. He dispelled the notion that interrogations are heated affairs, as they are often portrayed in the media, instead calling them "conversations that seem friendly" that yield results based on "high psychological pressure."
Wow Laurie! It sounds like I really would have enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteAs a part of my undergraduate degree in Communication, a lot of my focus was on interpersonal and group communication. Within this realm, "non-verbal" communication was covered. I'm fascinated by some of the things people do without realizing it when communicating (that I too, am guilty of doing).
Thanks for the support!
Friends reading this, Laurie has the BEST BELIZE BLOG EVER! www.tacogirl.com
Check her out!
x Anastasia x
I have it downloaded on my lap top if you want I can easily flash drive it to you. The other part of the show is interesting to Andrew Zimmern talking about the philosophy behind his Bizarre foods show. Thanks for the compliment on my blog.
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